So you are on this Journey away from a fixed belief system, one in which faith in a grouping of doctrines and practices is required. That of course is easier said than done and you find yourself with an empty house and a little bit of anxiety for the choice you have made. You were convinced God was pleased with beliefs you could neither see nor confirm, and ideas that seemed to contradict each other concerning prayer, or how many angels fit on the head of a pin.
Let me say what actually attracted me to Jesus at first although at the time it’s not how he was promoted and I mean promoted, was the awareness he had concerning the things that really mattered, and the awareness he practiced as a spiritual man here on earth. Ask yourself this the things that he spoke of and lived daily were they matters of fixed faith, or were they what I like to call matter of action & awareness. Matters such as Love, Devotion, Kindness, Care & Concern for others, these are matters that require awareness and the action in love that follows.
This matter of following Jesus is not actually about belief in fixed systems of doctrines, creeds & ceremony, and this is what has been bugging you at a deep spiritual level for quite some time. You just couldn’t get your finger on the problem so to speak, but now as your spiritual awareness grows so does your spiritual discernment that something is wrong.
So the answer isn’t switching fixed systems of thought from say Calvinism to Universalism, although that’s a move in the right direction it’s a move that ultimately brings you back to a system again. The answer is lies in moving into and awareness that moves you into action that fully embraces life, as Jesus did as the Buddha did and many, many others as well.
We will talk more about this awareness in the future but for know like the movie “Unbreakable” with Bruce Willis you need to start practicing this love based action awareness, because it is the Bomb indeed it is The Christ!